Why learning to control your anger is important!

You might think that venting your anger is healthy, that the people around you are too sensitive, that your anger is justified, or that you need to show your fury to get respect. But the truth is that anger is much more likely to damage your relationships, impair your judgment, get in the way of success, and have a negative impact on the way people see you.

Think Wisely!

Out-of-control anger hurts your physical health: Constantly operating at high levels of stress and tension is bad for your health. Chronic anger makes you more susceptible to heart disease, diabetes, high cholesterol levels, a weakened immune system, insomnia, and high blood pressure.

Out-of-control anger hurts your mental health: Chronic anger consumes huge amounts of mental energy and clouds your thinking, making it harder to concentrate, see the bigger picture, and enjoy life. It can also lead to stress, depression, and other mental health problems.

Out-of-control anger hurts your career: Constructive criticism, creative differences, and smart debate can be healthy. But lashing out only alienates your colleagues, supervisors, or clients and erodes their respect. What’s more, a bad reputation can follow you wherever you go, making it harder and harder to get ahead.

Out-of-control anger hurts your relationships with others: It causes lasting scars in the people you love most and gets in the way of your friendships and work relationships. Chronic, intense anger makes it hard for others to trust you, speak honestly, or feel comfortable—they never know what is going to set you off or what you will do. Explosive anger is especially damaging to children.

Clues that there’s something more to your anger:
You have a hard time compromising. Is it hard for you to understand other people’s points of view, and even harder to concede a point? If you grew up in a family where anger was out of control, you may remember how the angry person got his or her way by being the loudest and most demanding. Compromising might bring up scary feelings of failure and vulnerability.
You have trouble expressing emotions other than anger. Do you pride yourself on being tough and in control, never letting your guard down? Do you feel that emotions like fear, guilt, or shame don’t apply to you? Everyone has those emotions, and if you think you don’t, you may be using anger as a cover for them.

You view different opinions and viewpoints as a personal challenge to you. Do you believe that your way is always right and get angry when others disagree? If you have a strong need to be in control or a fragile ego, you may interpret other perspectives as a challenge to your authority, rather than simply a different way of looking at things.

Pay attention to the way anger feels in your body..
Knots in your stomach
Clenching your hands or jaw
Feeling clammy or flushed
Breathing faster
Headaches
Pacing or needing to walk around
“Seeing red”
Having trouble concentrating
Pounding heart
Tensing your shoulders


Identify the negative thought patterns that trigger your temper:

Stop Anger.. Save the Relation!

You may think that external things—the insensitive actions of other people, for example, or frustrating situations—are what cause your anger. But anger problems have less to do with what happens to you than how you interpret and think about what happened.

Common negative thinking patterns that trigger and fuel anger include: Overgeneralizing. For example, “You always interrupt me. You NEVER consider my needs. EVERYONE disrespects me. I NEVER get the credit I deserve.”  Obsessing on “shoulds” and “musts.” Having a rigid view of the way things should or must be and getting angry when reality doesn’t line up with this vision.

Mind reading and jumping to conclusions: Assuming you “know” what someone else is thinking or feeling—that he or she intentionally upset you, ignored your wishes, or disrespected you. 

Collecting straws: Looking for things to get upset about, usually while overlooking or blowing past anything positive. Letting these small irritations build and build until you reach the “final straw” and explode, often over something relatively minor.

Blaming: When anything bad happens or something goes wrong, it’s always someone else’s fault. You blame others for the things that happen to you rather than taking responsibility for your own life.
Avoid people, places, and situations that bring out your worst Stressful events don’t excuse anger, but understanding how these events affect you can help you take control of your environment and avoid unnecessary aggravation. Look at your regular routine and try to identify activities, times of day, people, places, or situations that trigger irritable or angry feelings. Maybe you get into a fight every time you go out for drinks with a certain group of friends. Or maybe the traffic on your daily commute drives you crazy. Then think about ways to avoid these triggers or view the situation differently so it doesn’t make your blood boil.

Five Simple Rules For Happiness:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less, not even a Hi or Hello from others!

*Life is not about finding the right person, but creating the right relationship, it's not how we care in the beginning, but how much we care till ending.

References:
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/anger_management_control_tips_techniques.htm
http://www.csub.edu/counselingcenter/mentalHealth/angerAndAggression.shtml
http://www.webmd.com/depression/ss/slideshow-help-depression-treatment-work
http://voices.yahoo.com/26-bible-verses-overcome-anger-6547482.html

Breathe helps:

• If you feel overwhelmed, breathe. It will calm you and release the tensions.
• If you are worried about something coming up or caught up in something that already happened, just take deep breathe. It will bring you back to the present.
• Take a deep breath 10 times inhale, exhale only from left nostril by closing your right nostril.. and within a minute you will come out of anger and anxiety.
• When you return to your anxieties, fears … these emerge from the mind unbidden, just as all your thoughts do. They are temporary conditions, like clouds passing. They aren't of any consequence if you just notice them, acknowledge them, let them move on.
• You return to the breath, and the anxieties are forgotten for a second as you see the breath. When the self and its fears, and desires and anxieties and urges return, then you go back to the breath and they are gone.
• If you are moving too fast, breathe. It will remind you to slow down and enjoy life more.
• Breathe, and enjoy each moment of this life.

Anger hurts you, takes away your inner peace and wastes your precious time. It will make you unhappy and sad. Let anger go away, learn the art of forgiving others and enjoy a beautiful life.  Anger and stressed life is directly proportional to diseases. So, be careful from anger. Live happily , Stay fit and Enjoy life…!!

Walk away immediately when you realize you are about to allow your anger to turn to rage or becoming violent.

1. Think before you speak - In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something you'll later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything — and allow others involved in the situation to do the same.

2. Exercise can help with anger - Bring down your general stress levels with exercise and relaxation. Running, walking, swimming, yoga and meditation are just a few activities that can reduce stress. "Exercise as part of your daily life is a good way to get rid of irritation and anger"

3. Let go of angry thoughts - "Try to let go of any unhelpful ways of thinking," "Thoughts such as 'It’s not fair,' or 'People like that shouldn’t be on the roads,' can make anger worse."

4. Take a timeout - Timeouts aren't just for kids. Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help you feel better prepared to handle what's ahead without getting irritated or angry.

5. Practice relaxation skills - Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as, "Take it easy." You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses — whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.

6. Get creative - Writing, making music, dancing or painting can release tension and reduce feelings of anger.

7. Get enough sleep at night - Getting adequate sleep can improve your mood and lessen your anger.

8. Practice positive self-talk - Give a moment to yourself to calm down, discuss the situation with yourself in a positive and relieving terms.

9. Act the Opposite - “One of the quickest ways to change a painful feeling is to act the opposite. Smile instead of frown. Speak softly rather than loudly. Relax instead of tighten. Disengage rather than attack. Empathize rather than judge”

10.  Isolate yourself : Whenever you feel angry or feel that irritating impulse just separate yourself from your family members and others. Just create some distance. The best thing you can do is to lock yourself in a room for a while and let the steam flow out. You can also punch the pillows if you want, just let it out. It is because you don't want to say things which hurt them and for which you regret later on.

11. Deep Breathing : Whenever you feel angry and distressed practice deep breathing exercises. Just inhale deeply, hold your breath for a while ( count upto 10 if you can) and exhale. It really works. Chant some holy verse if you can or visualize a beautiful memory or image or a holy symbol while you do so. I visualize OM symbol.

12. Eat or drink something : This is also a very good technique. If you feel angry eat something, preferably something sweet or drink a glass of fruit juice or water. An empty stomach can sometimes act as a catalyst in aggravating the emotional outburst. So fill it in.

13. Listen to hard rock songs : Sometimes listening to hard rock songs for a while helps in releasing anger.

A Personal Mission Statement:
1. Succeed at home first.
2. Seek and merit divine help.
3. Never compromise with honesty.
4. Remember the people involved.
5. Hear both sides before judging.
6. Obtain counsel of others.
7. Defend those who are absent.
8. Be sincere yet decisive.
9. Develop one new proficiency a year.
10. Plan tomorrow's work today.
11. Hustle while you wait.
12. Maintain a positive attitude.
13. Keep a sense of humor.
14. Be orderly in person and in work.
15. Do not fear mistakes--fear only the absence of creative, constructive, and corrective responses to those mistakes.
16. Facilitate the success of subordinates.
17. Listen twice as much as you speak.
18. Concentrate all abilities and efforts on the task at hand, not worrying about the next job or promotion.